About Us

PROGRAMME OVERVIEW // THE ORIGIN PROTOCOL

[ SECTION 01: THE PROBLEM ]

Modern social culture forces a binary choice: drink alcohol to unwind at the expense of tomorrow, or settle for sugary, childish soft drinks that offer zero relaxation.

We rejected both.

Living in London and navigating after work drinks, weekend nightlife, and client dinners without alcohol exposed a constant friction point. Holding a glass of tap water invited endless questioning, while standard alcohol free drinks packed with up to 200 calories of sugar left you feeling flat.

We built Tested on Humans™ as a third option: an engineered botanical drink designed to melt physical tension, support social ease, and leave your mind completely sharp.

[ SECTION 02: THE ORIGIN ]

Tested on Humans™ started at university. We were three friends from entirely different disciplines, united by late nights, heavy training targets, and demanding London careers.

As our goals grew, the heavy morning penalty of alcohol became unsustainable. But our desire to socialise and stay connected never faded. We did not want to stay home, we wanted a better way to participate.

Partnering with leading UK food scientists and specialist beverage producers, we created Tested on Humans™ from the ground up. No synthetic additives. No sugar spikes. No wellness clichés. Just a functional, 38 calorie formulation created by people who lived the problem.

[ SECTION 03: THE FORMULATION ]

A functional drink has to taste exceptional before anything else. We treat flavour and function as equal priorities, delivering a crisp, dry botanical profile without refined sugars or artificial aftertastes.

  • 1,320mg Organic Reishi Extract: A full, active dose to lower stress, quiet mental noise, and bring on a grounded physical calm.
  • 220mg Ashwagandha: A potent botanical dose selected to melt nervous tension and foster effortless, uninhibited social flow.
  • Designed for the Room: Housed in a brutalist, pint style 440ml can that looks sharp in any setting, from high end bars to late night venues.

[ SECTION 04: THE SPECS ]

  • 0.0% ALC: Zero ethanol penalty. Zero cognitive fog. Zero morning downtime.
  • ACTIVE CALM: Eases stress and tension without making you sleepy or groggy.
  • 38 KCAL: Ultra low calorie, zero caffeine, no sugar crash.
  • INDIVIDUAL RESPONSE: Natural active botanicals interact uniquely with every system. Onset typically occurs within 15 to 20 minutes.

[ STATUS: TRIAL ACTIVE ]

Tested on Humans™ is an open invitation to drink differently. Serve cold. Observe the response.

/// RESULTS MAY VARY